"I'll call you when I finish the show and maybe we can hang out."
This is "Let's hang out after the show's" ugly step-sibling. This basically means "I'd like to make out with you later, but I'm sending this text to more than one person and leaving my options open." This is the you-are-not-special text. Respond at your own peril.
"We're on tour right now, and I just feel so blessed."
This is a pickup line in conversational clothing. It gets you because you think, "Wow. This person is successful, humble, and grateful." It makes him or her appear different from other non-serious musicians and tricks you into focusing on how attractive that is instead of the real truth of the statement: "I'm on tour, so I'll be feeding these lines to people all over the Eastern Seaboard for the next month or so."
"If you can make it, I'll see if I can get you a guest-list spot."
This one's tough. If you know the musician as an actual friend or in a more tried-and-true romantic sense (like, if you've gone on dates with actual dinner and cocktails instead of using drink tickets after a show) this is great. You're in his or her life, so of course you'll get a guest-list spot. If you just met this person, however, this is an invitation to hookup. Again, great if that's what you're after, but this is absolutely not a date.
"I'll think of you when I'm playing [insert romantic sounding song here]."
Not only is this person the cheesiest on the planet, he's also lying. When he or she is up there singing this song supposedly emotionally dedicated to you, the newish stranger and could-be love interest, he or she is thinking of the reason the song exists—an emotional performance is key to have an entire room of people eating out of your hand. Sorry if that stings.
Any form of playing guitar, another instrument, or singing for you while not onstage.
This isn't necessarily disingenuous, it's just a trap because if you're not ready to jump over tables and other people to kiss this person after witnessing this, you may not be human. This is a trap and you will absolutely fall for it. And you'll fall hard.
"Wanna check out the tour bus?"
Come on, do I have to even spell this one out for you?
—Written by Kelsea Stahler for HowAboutWe
Have you ever fallen for one of these pickup lines? Have you ever fallen for a band member?
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