"I woke up at 3 a.m. nine months into our marriage. My wife was passing blood—she was having a miscarriage. As I stayed by her side at the hospital for the next 23 hours, I thought, You're in deep waters. Honestly, we were very close before we got married, but it was there that I thought, This is what commitment is: There's no going back."
—Danny, 23, Aylesbury, England; married one year
"Now I feel free to do something dorky, and we both think it's funny. When you're dating, there's sort of an expectation about how you're supposed to act."
—Chip, 28, New York City; married three years
"I travel for work with male colleagues sometimes. And before, even if I said to my now husband, Mike, nothing's going to happen. This guy is a kid. Why do you care?' he kind of cared. Since our wedding, I think there's more reassurance."
—Nikki, 27, Troy, Ill.; married nine months
"You can be honest when you're married. If I'm about to go out and my hair looks stupid, she'll tell me. Or if the color she has on is obnoxious, I'll let her know—though she might still wear it."
—Erik, 30, Chicago; married one year
"Knowing that our foundation is solid has given us the strength and the courage to face challenges we might not have alone. Working on the house and our careers became our goals, not individual ones. We began to live and dream as a unit."
—*B.J., 36, Sacramento, Calif.; married seven years *
Your finances
Merging accounts, wrestling over who spends what, revealing a sordid credit history—marrying your money is a minefield. Then again, working it all out? Surprisingly intimate.
"The sticker shock was the main thing. Guys, we go to Target, buy a $3 deodorant, some shampoo, and we're good to go. For [some] women, it's easy to spend 100 bucks on a face wash…and then there are the manicures and pedicures. But she works hard. This is her money too. And I'm getting used to it. I actually participated in one of these so-called pedis. Not too bad!"
—Adam, 30, Ankeny, Iowa; married one year
"My shopping is a problem. I buy things and hide the bags in my trunk until he's not home so I can hang up the clothes, jewelry, or shoes and take the tags off. I'll leave work early to do this. He has been sitting down with me and I'm improving, but it's our biggest struggle."
—*Brittnie, 27, Herrin, Ill.; married four years *
"[My husband] bought a $200 jointer tool three weeks into the marriage, and I said, You did what?' Had he said, You know, I want to buy this tool,' I would have been, Yeah, honey, go.' I was definitely upset. That's when we talked about making those big decisions together. We're doing much better now."
—Jenny, 26, Collinsville, Ill.; married six months
"I thought I had a pretty good grip on what we were getting into. But then, after the wedding, we revealed to each other our student loan debt—I've got $30,000; his is almost $60,000—and we saw every stupid credit card the other person opened in college. It was kind of a relief to calculate it all. But knowing the ins and outs of someone's credit score—that's pretty intense. And it's intimate.
