If every woman had a mantra, it should be that: "I know who I am and I like who I am." Just imagine if, instead of blabbing to our friends, saying, "Ugh, I'm so old," (your future self would eye-roll at you for that, by the way), we said, "I know who I am and I* like* who I am." Really, let's all agree to jot that on a Post-it and slap it on our bathroom mirror, yes?
Realize that life will take you places you could never predict today, not even with that color-coded spreadsheet on your desktop.
Of course, it seems easy for someone like Gates to like herself—what's not to like? She's the cofounder of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, one of the largest nonprofits in the world, and is currently traveling the globe working on the not-small issue of gender equality, including a partnership with the Clinton Foundation's No Ceilings Initiative. (Gates has previously dedicated herself to complex problems such as women's reproductive health, malaria, polio, and poverty.) Her work is meaningful, and she's passionate about it. But here's the takeaway: This wasn't some lifelong plan she hatched years ago, a stack of career books on her coffee table. It took time, experience, and the willingness to just see where things go.
"If you had told my 20-year-old self that this would be my life, I'd have laughed at you," says Gates. "The things I've seen and the people I've met have changed me. They've focused my general desire to be a good person into a real sense of purpose around global equality. I'm proud of the work I do at the foundation. But it wasn't a plan I started with."
Keep pushing yourself to grow, even when it's hard—the effort will be so worth it.
The good news: Pushing yourself doesn't mean closing down the office every night, going out with every guy who swipes right because you're "putting yourself out there," or training for a marathon when you hate running. It means being open to change, getting out of your comfort zone, and finding that thing that's going to energize you when your feet hit the floor in the morning.
"I'm pretty outspoken on women's and girls' issues now, but that's not totally natural for me. I've had to grow into that," says Gates. "So if I could give [my 30-year-old self] advice, it would be to have faith in myself but keep stretching. Keep doing uncomfortable things, because your life can be bigger and bolder than you know…. The journey that brought me here has been full of twists and turns. And I've panicked every now and again. But I never stopped challenging myself to find purpose, and I think that's the key."
I've had two quotes on my bedside table since I was 16-years old (since we're all friends here, I'm 31 now—so this was a hot minute ago.) One I tore out of a book my mom gave to me. It says: "The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of the people in your life." The other is from an old issue of Runner's World, and it reads: "The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." Both resonated with me as a teenager, and they still do. And the fact that I've carried them with me for 15 years and three cities, that to this day I read them when I need to recenter, goes to show that past you and present you share a lot with *future *you. Be excited—not stressed—to meet her. Who knows? She might just be the next Melinda Gates.
Have you ever stressed about a birthday? Share in the comments below. And if you want to continue to gut-check, check out what Olivia Wilde has to say about turning 30!
