Glamour: When do you feel most relief?
JLS: After I meditate, and then just lay down knowing my son is asleep, bottles are washed, toys are put away, no more responsibilities. Just me time. That’s when I feel really at peace. And when I’m working. Because that’s when I’m doing my thing.
Glamour: What's one of the most difficult physical challenges?
JLS: I haven't been able to run for 10 years. If there’s one thing I dream about doing again, it’s that because it’s such a liberating feeling. You just want to release that energy. But I’m very used to it now.
Glamour: If you try to run, what happens?
JLS: I start to stiffen up. My brain can’t work quickly enough with my legs. I have a weakness in my right side, so balance, coordination…heels can be hard for me, which is a bummer because I love wearing them. I just want to live the life I need to live, and don’t want to be constantly reminded of the things I can’t do.
Glamour: And MS affects more than just the physical.
JLS: It affects so many areas of your life, including my marriage and my sex life, and motherhood and parenting, and my career. It’s just sort of how I have navigated through and learned the helpful ways and the not so helpful ways. I think more than anything, not allowing people to help me, made everything harder. Not even physically, but emotionally. I think that’s the one commonality those with MS all have.
Glamour: You touched on MS affecting your sex life. Can you explain more?
JLS: First and foremost, [sex] is the last thing on your mind at the end of the day. That’s not where your head’s at. It’s a part of you that you can forget that is still really important. Sometimes pushing yourself to have sex can be like, “Oh yeah, I do enjoy this! I do enjoy this part of me!” You’re laying down, you can definitely make it work for yourself. And then there’s physical things that affect everyone. For me, because I have bladder issues, I have to make sure I always…like, spontaneity is out the window, so I have to make sure I go to the bathroom before. So there’s certain ways I have to manage it and be responsible with it. But you don’t want to lose feeling sexy, and I can feel that sometimes, where I’ll say, “I don’t feel sexy. I don’t feel good today.” Like, I feel dumpy. My husband is wonderful and great at making me feel good about myself—or trying to at least! But, like I said, there’s times I’m like, “I’m going to do this for him,” and then realize it’s actually for me too.
Glamour: Transitioning a bit to pregnancy, many patients who have MS go into remission when they get pregnant. Why is that?
JLS: I don’t know. It’s a beautiful miracle. Your symptoms can get a lot quieter [during that time]. It’s a wonderful thing. I can only speak for me, but when I was pregnant, I was hiking with my dog, and those are things that I don’t do now. So, it is a lovely thing that happens for women. My doctor has never said “get knocked up again,” [but] it's just something you can look forward to when it happens.
