...But It's Also About Feminism. "Nothing is more disappointing than people telling you waiting until you're married to have sex is just a notion of patriarchy," says Marcia, 23. "I am a feminist, and I will always be, and knowing that sex is a sacred thing and not just for fun, it gives an entirely different feel and purpose to that act."
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Sometimes, It's Out of Fear. __The many unknowns of sex (STDs, emotional readiness, will I be good at it?) have many women opting out. "There's a lot about sex that intimidates me, but it honestly comes down to the fear it'll be awkward and weird," admits Jasmine, 22.
__Some Are "Born Again" Virgins. __Some ladies who have been in marriages or intense sexual relationships in the past that didn't work out are choosing "Second Virginities." "I feel I married my first husband because we had great sex," says Pam, 47, who has been abstinent since 1999. "I've vowed to not have sex again until I get remarried. Sex clouds the intimate experience, in my opinion. I want to focus on connecting with the heart and mind first the next time around. I've heard lots of criticism at this age...but I'm standing firm."
__Often, It's a Protective Measure.__Some women simply have no time for disposable relationships, booty calls, and drive-by relationships…and they see abstaining from sex as a way to weed out people only interested in that. "My virginity is something I do not want to lose.' To lose it,' would be to imply that I was not ready to give it, and that it was not freely given. That is why I call it a gift," explains Shay, 28. "To me having sex or making love for the first time is a very intimate act between two people...it shouldn't be done because a guy bought you a drink and picked you up at a bar or Tinder-swiped you," said an anonymous reader. And in the words of Gina, age 40: "A man has to have my heart before he can have my kisses."
Will more people choose to remain a virgin until marriage? That remains to be seen. Personally I'd just like to see it inspire men to rise up a little, to woo and pursue, to seduce our minds and emotions instead of our bodies.
Because, ladies, when it comes down to it: regardless of your level of sexual experience (or lack thereof), regardless of your "number," regardless of any relationship hits and misses…you deserve a man who wants both your heart AND your body.
